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What to do if you see inappropriate images

ESPN Peddling Porn During March Madness and What Parents Can Do About It

March Madness. The vasectomies are scheduled BABY (with love, to Dickie V) and Cinderella stories await. As a school social worker, it’s when I hear hundreds of teens collectively cheer in a rare act of unity after every point, foul, or substitute as they watch on the cafeteria’s big screen.

It’s also the first year my 9-year-old son filled out a bracket and my lucky husband finally had someone to share the excitement with in our family. However, this past Saturday morning, while looking at ESPN.com to get the game scores, was an image presenting barely-covered nipples and enhanced breasts placed between articles. Blonde, and tan, with a wanting facial expression, are other non-surprising descriptors.

Whether you consider this porn or not, it was no accident that one of the most viewed websites in America in March – predominantly by boys and men- was placed as clickbait that would take many down the porn tunnel. One click by a young person and the algorithms adjust to feeding them similar and more sensationalized content for eternity.

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Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Telling Your Kids the Truth About Santa: Is There a Clause for Lying?

I’ve taken enough classes on sexual health that it is engrained to always answer my kids’ questions honestly and never push them away. We use the real words for body parts so they aren’t stigmatized. When they’ve asked questions like “mom, how do you keep from getting pregnant?” I answer in a way they can understand that is developmentally appropriate (while hiding my inner anxiety).

We want them to know they can trust our answers and that they should never feel bad or awkward about asking us questions. We want them to come to us with life’s tough and awkward topics, not their friends on the bus with a smartphone or the internet.

So what does this have to do with Santa?

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Brief Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Anxious Youth Challenge

So, I’m taking a class this weekend called BCBT or Brief Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for anxious youth. The reason I’m writing this post is because we’ve been challenged to do something that causes us anxiety (since we are supposed to be helping others overcome anxiety, we need to feel some of it ourselves to relate). We all have anxiety about something and the assignment is to confront something that makes you nervous and examine how you feel. So, I realized that sometimes I obsess about my blog posts and very often write a draft and never actually post it. So, I get 15 minutes to write a post, no proofreading allowed. Thank goodness for auto spell check. my spelling is terrible. Also, first drafts are usually terrible and mine are no exception.

I’ll tell you a little about what I’ve learned in this class.

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children's books, children's literature, books, book reviews, parenting, kindergarten, old books

The Fantastic Few Books #2- Oldies

We’re all starting school and getting into our new routines and I keep remembering my commitment to put out some good book reviews out there and haven’t done it. Who knew that doing something two times in a row would be so difficult? I’m blaming it on #momlife #gradschool #kindergarten #threeyearolds #parenting #laundry #kidseatingfood

All excuses aside, I have some books here I’m super excited to shine a new light on. They’re oldies that withstand test of time. Continue reading

beauty, childhood, motherhood, media, objectification, female, femininity, toenails, eyelashes, value, sexualization, #womennotobjects, #redefiningbeauty, #killingussoftly

Is Femininity Defined by Eyelashes and Toenails?

Published earlier today on huffingtonpost.com

“Mommy, I know it’s a girl on TV when she has big eyelashes,” my four-year-old said confidently during a reluctant potty break from her favorite show.

She’s totally right—though men and women actually have the same eyelashes when they wake up in the morning. Girls, both cartoons and real, are portrayed on television with a signature trait: eye makeup. Even our beloved baby Margaret on Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood has enhanced eyelashes when compared to her brother. And don’t even get me started on Elsa. 

It hit me that my daughter’s first identifier of femininity was, in reality, fake.

I started thinking about all the other steps a typical woman takes, beyond what a typical man would do, just to get ready for the day. The list goes something like this:
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The Mother Induced Gender Wage Gap

I was talking about the gender wage gap with one of the professors in my Masters of Social work program last week between classes. To be there, I had arranged childcare, driven 45 minutes, paid a lot of money in tuition, and felt entirely rushed to return to my 2 and 4-year-old as soon as possible. So, every second must be extremely productive.

I’m not a great person to be friends with since I’m only on campus for class and then I dart home to help with dinner, bedtime, or begin to tackle loads of homework.

Back to the conversation with this professor: I was informing him of some reading I did on the impact of pornography on the sexualization of girls and women in society and how some argue that sexualization/ objectification is partly to blame for the gender wage gap. If you think about how women are portrayed predominantly as sex objects in all forms of media, then it makes sense that women wouldn’t be taken seriously in big decisions or for leadership roles. Objectification takes away person-hood and makes a person an object for another person’s pleasure. And nobody would make an object the CEO. Continue reading

I Ruined My Child’s Life Over a Tortilla

I’m part of an online mom’s group where we share parenting struggles. We all have 4-year-olds and there’s a trend emerging among our kids lately. They are saying things like: “You are the worst mommy ever!”, “I hate you mommy!” and “I wish Jessica was my mommy and not you”. Thanks for being so awesome, Jessica.

It’s both hilarious and heartbreaking considering all that a parent does for their kid only to get verbally slapped in the face. Continue reading

Tips and Tricks for Babies Part 2, how to raise a baby, how to get my baby to sleep, sleep training, sleep issues for moms, sleep tips, sleep tricks,

Tips and Tricks for Babies Part 2

As some of you know, having a new baby is not as easy as all those sleepy newborn photos make it look. A few weeks ago I posted Tips and Tricks for Babies Part 1 and because the list was so long, I created Part 2. Here is some unsolicited advice, since you didn’t ask! Continue reading

stay at home dad, dad stays home, working mom, dads at the park

What it’s like to be a Stay at Home Dad

Being a stay at home mom, I know that there are many other moms in the same place with whom I can find camaraderie. That wouldn’t necessarily be the case for a stay at home dad. It is becoming more common for dads to stay home, but it is still counter cultural and with that I suspect come unique challenges. I reached out to one of the stay at home dads I know and asked If he could write about his experience. Here are his thoughts: Continue reading

should I have more children? how do I know when to have more children? Should I have more kids? how many kids should I have? what's the best number of kids to have?

To have More Children or to Not have More Children

When in the ‘window” of opportunity for having children, there is an underlying pressure to know if we’re done or if we should plan for one more. Keep the baby clothes or give them away? Put the crib in storage or Craigslist it? Continue reading