Category Archives: Profound paradoxes

beauty, childhood, motherhood, media, objectification, female, femininity, toenails, eyelashes, value, sexualization, #womennotobjects, #redefiningbeauty, #killingussoftly

Is Femininity Defined by Eyelashes and Toenails?

Published earlier today on huffingtonpost.com

“Mommy, I know it’s a girl on TV when she has big eyelashes,” my four-year-old said confidently during a reluctant potty break from her favorite show.

She’s totally right—though men and women actually have the same eyelashes when they wake up in the morning. Girls, both cartoons and real, are portrayed on television with a signature trait: eye makeup. Even our beloved baby Margaret on Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood has enhanced eyelashes when compared to her brother. And don’t even get me started on Elsa. 

It hit me that my daughter’s first identifier of femininity was, in reality, fake.

I started thinking about all the other steps a typical woman takes, beyond what a typical man would do, just to get ready for the day. The list goes something like this:
Continue reading

gender wage gap, working moms, working women, grad school mom, parenting, motherhood, childcare, caregivers

The Mother Induced Gender Wage Gap

I was talking about the gender wage gap with one of the professors in my Masters of Social work program last week between classes. To be there, I had arranged childcare, driven 45 minutes, paid a lot of money in tuition, and felt entirely rushed to return to my 2 and 4-year-old as soon as possible. So, every second must be extremely productive.

I’m not a great person to be friends with since I’m only on campus for class and then I dart home to help with dinner, bedtime, or begin to tackle loads of homework.

Back to the conversation with this professor: I was informing him of some reading I did on the impact of pornography on the sexualization of girls and women in society and how some argue that sexualization/ objectification is partly to blame for the gender wage gap. If you think about how women are portrayed predominantly as sex objects in all forms of media, then it makes sense that women wouldn’t be taken seriously in big decisions or for leadership roles. Objectification takes away person-hood and makes a person an object for another person’s pleasure. And nobody would make an object the CEO. Continue reading

I Ruined My Child’s Life Over a Tortilla

I’m part of an online mom’s group where we share parenting struggles. We all have 4-year-olds and there’s a trend emerging among our kids lately. They are saying things like: “You are the worst mommy ever!”, “I hate you mommy!” and “I wish Jessica was my mommy and not you”. Thanks for being so awesome, Jessica.

It’s both hilarious and heartbreaking considering all that a parent does for their kid only to get verbally slapped in the face. Continue reading

Why I Chose to be a Stay at Home Mom, SAHM, parenting

Why I Chose to be a Stay at Home Mom

I was going to write about my choice to stay home mom a few years ago when it was fresh. It’s a decision many new parents struggle with. But then I got scared. What if I offended someone? It’s such a touchy topic. So the idea died, as most of my half-written drafts do (the reasons for my fears and paralysis in writing might come out in another post one day, if I’m not too scared to write it:). Continue reading

parenting, old homes, buying an old home with young kids, momlife

How Buying an Old Home is Like Having Children

We just bought a home that was built in 1920. It was dreamy, had character, and was the only one we liked in the time frame available.

We’ve slept in this house a total of three nights and I can’t help but think about how owning an old home is like having children. Here is why: Continue reading

should I have more children? how do I know when to have more children? Should I have more kids? how many kids should I have? what's the best number of kids to have?

To have More Children or to Not have More Children

When in the ‘window” of opportunity for having children, there is an underlying pressure to know if we’re done or if we should plan for one more. Keep the baby clothes or give them away? Put the crib in storage or Craigslist it? Continue reading

motherhood, moms, moms are heroes,

Are You Just a Mom?

The decision to stay home after having my first child was incredibly challenging. My job wasn’t family friendly and I don’t have family nearby to help. My daughter had colic, and she needed me. Still, I deliberated until the last-minute. And I questioned my decision almost daily during my first two years of motherhood.

When telling a friend (who is a VP at a fortune 100 company

Continue reading

Why I Asked My Husband to Thank Me for Dinner

My home is bugged—by toddlers. It’s easy to forget, because like most mothers, I’m exhausted from everyday kiddo demands by the time evening hits. Cooking dinner with a 20 lb. baby in one arm while my toddler tries to pull my pants down, threatens to fry my last ounce of civility.

Continue reading

Kids, toddlers, parenting

A Date without Your Spouse

“Make time to go on dates with your spouse after you have kids” is common advice from weathered parents.  I’ll admit, it’s easier said than done, but worthy advice nonetheless.  Today, however, I accidentally discovered how important it is go on a date with my two-year-old.

Continue reading

Mesmerized by You

mountain railway

Our family of four attended a birthday party at the lone restaurant on the top of Mt. Baldy a couple of weeks ago.  Riding a rickety old ski lift was the only way to get up the mountain.  My husband wore our two-year old in one carrier, and I wore our 6 month old in another.  They made us ride separately because you can only have two “people” per lift.  Since when did a 15 lb person count?  Just kidding.

So the party was crazy with two tiny people to keep track of in the midst of many full-sized people.  We did a little dance, sang a little song, and it was time to ride down the mountain in the dark.  Now, I live in a city where I often get honked at because I forget to turn my headlights on at night.  There are so many lights all around me that I don’t even notice.  But Mt. Baldy is in the wild wilderness compared to my home.

So here I am, isolated by darkness… riding on this rickety ski lift. Continue reading