“Mommy, I know it’s a girl on TV when she has big eyelashes,” my four-year-old said confidently during a reluctant potty break from her favorite show.
She’s totally right—though men and women actually have the same eyelashes when they wake up in the morning. Girls, both cartoons and real, are portrayed on television with a signature trait: eye makeup. Even our beloved baby Margaret on Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood has enhanced eyelashes when compared to her brother. And don’t even get me started on Elsa.
It hit me that my daughter’s first identifier of femininity was, in reality, fake.
I started thinking about all the other steps a typical woman takes, beyond what a typical man would do, just to get ready for the day. The list goes something like this: Continue reading →
I was talking about the gender wage gap with one of the professors in my Masters of Social work program last week between classes. To be there, I had arranged childcare, driven 45 minutes, paid a lot of money in tuition, and felt entirely rushed to return to my 2 and 4-year-old as soon as possible. So, every second must be extremely productive.
I’m not a great person to be friends with since I’m only on campus for class and then I dart home to help with dinner, bedtime, or begin to tackle loads of homework.
Back to the conversation with this professor: I was informing him of some reading I did on the impact of pornography on the sexualization of girls and women in society and how some argue that sexualization/ objectification is partly to blame for the gender wage gap. If you think about how women are portrayed predominantly as sex objects in all forms of media, then it makes sense that women wouldn’t be taken seriously in big decisions or for leadership roles. Objectification takes away person-hood and makes a person an object for another person’s pleasure. And nobody would make an object the CEO. Continue reading →
I’m part of an online mom’s group where we share parenting struggles. We all have 4-year-olds and there’s a trend emerging among our kids lately. They are saying things like: “You are the worst mommy ever!”, “I hate you mommy!” and “I wish Jessica was my mommy and not you”. Thanks for being so awesome, Jessica.
It’s both hilarious and heartbreaking considering all that a parent does for their kid only to get verbally slapped in the face. Continue reading →
I was going to write about my choice to stay home mom a few years ago when it was fresh. It’s a decision many new parents struggle with. But then I got scared. What if I offended someone? It’s such a touchy topic. So the idea died, as most of my half-written drafts do (the reasons for my fears and paralysis in writing might come out in another post one day, if I’m not too scared to write it:). Continue reading →
When in the ‘window” of opportunity for having children, there is an underlying pressure to know if we’re done or if we should plan for one more. Keep the baby clothes or give them away? Put the crib in storage or Craigslist it? Continue reading →
The decision to stay home after having my first child was incredibly challenging. My job wasn’t family friendly and I don’t have family nearby to help. My daughter had colic, and she needed me. Still, I deliberated until the last-minute. And I questioned my decision almost daily during my first two years of motherhood.
When telling a friend (who is a VP at a fortune 100 company
My home is bugged—by toddlers. It’s easy to forget, because like most mothers, I’m exhausted from everyday kiddo demands by the time evening hits. Cooking dinner with a 20 lb. baby in one arm while my toddler tries to pull my pants down, threatens to fry my last ounce of civility.
“Make time to go on dates with your spouse after you have kids” is common advice from weathered parents. I’ll admit, it’s easier said than done, but worthy advice nonetheless. Today, however, I accidentally discovered how important it is go on a date with my two-year-old.
Our family of four attended a birthday party at the lone restaurant on the top of Mt. Baldy a couple of weeks ago. Riding a rickety old ski lift was the only way to get up the mountain. My husband wore our two-year old in one carrier, and I wore our 6 month old in another. They made us ride separately because you can only have two “people” per lift. Since when did a 15 lb person count? Just kidding.
So the party was crazy with two tiny people to keep track of in the midst of many full-sized people. We did a little dance, sang a little song, and it was time to ride down the mountain in the dark. Now, I live in a city where I often get honked at because I forget to turn my headlights on at night. There are so many lights all around me that I don’t even notice. But Mt. Baldy is in the wild wilderness compared to my home.